How to survive when you're living on your own

After months and months all my attempts to get by decently on my own and be something more similar to an adult than a five year-old have been, well, I don't know how to put it, a complete disaster. 

It suddenly hit me something like two or three weeks ago, while I was scrolling my Facebook timetable and came across this VICE Mag article about some young ladies' flats. Read it please, or at the very least look at the pictures. 

Did you see the young men's ones? Now, I'm not saying my bedroom is exactly like theirs, though it does have much more to share with Chris's and Ike's rather than Charley's. Yep. And i'm supposed to be studying Interior Design. Good job Alex. 

In my defense I must say I tend to have a pretty busy day almost everyday, getting out at 9 am and getting back home at around 10 or 11 pm most of the time because of my University or because one of the many things I always misteriously end up doing. However, I do realize it is not in anyway a good excuse for having bits of chewing-gums lying on the shelf for months or for having withe wine rotting in glass - to be honest that wasn't me, but my roommate whom I LOVE and won't surely get mad for me to reveal this to the whole Internet #pleasedontkillme. 

Anyway, I do however think that after exactly 9 months of independence I'm finally starting to get how living on my own works - or I'd better say, should work- so here are the tips I'd surely give to the 9 month-younger me :

1) Buy a fabric softener. I know that seems useless, but trust me when I say it's a life saver. However strong your New Year's resolutions are gonna be, you're NOT gonna be making your laundry at least once every week. To be honest, not even once every other week. You'd actually be very lucky if you'll menage to do it once a month, and of course it's not gonna be all the colors at once, so believe me, the few times all of your clothes are clean you'll want them to be perfumed and soft for more than half an hour. 

2) Try to separate as much as you can the kitchen from your bedroom . Which means, try not to bring your food on your bed. Why? 'Cause then you'll have to deal with that piece of fried chicken you really hadn't any place in your stomach left for for at least another week, until you'll realize insects are NOT coming into your room only because they know you don't enjoy their company,which leads to the number: 

3) Buy a mosquito net. It doesn't work for mosquitos only, you know? It does actually help a lot against wasps, cockroaches, flies, and U.F.M.s in general - Unidentified Flying Monsters. I know it's not "stylish" but better bad then dead. 

And, last but not least,

4) Don't use the floor. Let me clarify this for you normal people out there: with this phrase I'm not implying you shouldn't use the floor the way it is supposed to be used i.e. walking on it. No way. What I mean is much more like don't use you floor as an extension of your shelves, wardrobe, desk, bed and whatever. Please, just don't. 

Now, hopefully most of these advice didn't come as a surprise at all for most of you - and if they did, make yourself a favor and ask anyone to teach you the basics of hygiene, as I should have done - tough not many would normally take into account the hypothesis of buying a mosquito net, well, not until some monsters try to kill you and your roommate multiple times at least. But that's another story. 

Hope you guys enjoyed it, fell free to subscribe, comment, like or share if you did and have a wonderful day!

- Alex

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gVH6LM9uQc

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Things I (one day) will tell my nephews

I don't know why, but I've been noticing that grandmothers have this incredible ability to know literally everything that happens with you, and, most of them, to have experienced all the possible experiences.

I,too, want to be one of those cool grandmothers, so that's why, after only 19 years and a good half, I've collected a discrete amount of what in italian I would call "figure di merda", which in english would be " times I acted like a fool", though it's much better in italian #sorrynotsorry, and I seriously can not wait to tell them all to my hypothetical future (un)lucky nephews.

Please don't judge me.


N. 1- I've lost a tampon in the forest/beach (difficult to separate them) during a party in Norway and I went to the ambulance asking for a new one. They all started laughing and gave me a pack of toilet paper instead.

N. 2- After a night spent drinking wine, I threw up on my bedclothes and kept it there for one week, because I didn't dare tell my parents. Eventually I told my mum and she and my dad laughed at me for days afterwards.

N. 3- Conversation with my Norwegian family: "You know what they say, <When you drop a fork on the floor, a man is knocking at the door>!" Me: "Is he nice?"

N. 4- I got really drunk in Amsterdam and woke up with a barricade in my room made by my friends to keep "someone" outside - not going to say anything more about this. We had to take the plane back home the day after and threw up every now and then on the way from the hotel to the airport.

N. 5- In Cambridge, me and my friends greeted the police officer with a tea cup full of vodka and asked him to take a picture with us. He didn't notice the alcohol and took the picture.

N. 6- I got out one day in the middle of the night and called my friend to go "catch" the Northern Lights, and got lost somewhere in the forest, with the sound of the mooses and my friend swearing in the background.

N. 7- One month after I moved to Milan, I got really drunk and threw up in the tram.

N. 8- I jumped off the trampoline in the pool and found out just once I was in the water that I had lost the upper part of my bikini.

N. 9- I almost burned down the whole kitchen while trying to cook some spinaches. Literally.

N. 10- I managed to set my hair drier on fire a couple of times.

And, last but not least, my hair was once like this:

That's not all,but I've ashamed myself enough for today. I'll probably make a part two one day.

Once again, please don't judge me.

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